Amnesia
by IncompleteWithoutLife
Summary: The lights reflected the way she felt, when those stormy blue eyes met with her own dark brown. So bare; alive within the mix of all those grinning faces. She just didn't think that light would soon come to loom over her. Maybe if she tried hard enough...Just maybe there was a possibility she could forget Jade. Even if she didn't want to accept the fact that Jade was never her's.


_**Uhhh...What's going on?**_

* * *

_**Summary; The lights reflected the way she felt, when those stormy blue eyes met with her own dark brown. So bare; alive within the mix of all those grinning faces. She just didn't think that light would soon come to loom over her. Maybe if she tried hard enough...Just maybe there was a possibility she could forget Jade. Even if she didn't want to accept the fact that Jade was never her's.**_

_**Title; Amnesia**_

_**Artist; Of course it's pretty obvious...but for copyrights ( Song firmly performed...possibly written by 5 Seconds Of Summer. )**_

* * *

_**Amnesia**_

Shaky hands carried the sealed box with an obvious concentrated delicacy. Only seconds later to angrily toss it onto dark purple sheets. Ignoring the tears staining her hands. She missed her target through blurry eyes, and her natural lack of agility. Screaming in frustration when she once again failed accuracy, she carelessly threw the hand knife- it landing somewhere between her closet, and bookcase filled with photo albums instead. There was a short termed fuss of agony as bare hands determined to rip through the thick layer of duct tape and cardboard.

Vaguely she heard her name being called, but she ignored it; desperately trying to reach the contents that lay inside. This time she screamed at the obvious attempt to stop her unstable hands scratch through the thick force creating the barrier she didn't need. She slapped, and fought at the hands clawing at her own. She shook her head, frustration settling in while her hands pushed through heavy cloaking tears.

It's when a pair of tanned slim arms encircled her waist did she snap. She pushed trying with all her will to keep the landslide of tears at bay. Hands and body pulling away from the firm embrace, she tried her hardest failing when she was turned into an embrace. Screaming and yelling to be let go, her knees buckled; only to be hauled back into that warm tight embrace. This time she let her hands curl a handful of the loosely fitting shirt, trying to ignore the stinging pain. A small groan full of unissued sobs escaped her lips in defeat.

* * *

_"When we met, I hesitated. I hesitated because I knew from the moment I saw you, that nothing would be the same. And it proved just that, when we held onto a handshake seconds to long to be anything platonic,"_

_There was silence. Tears dried out, face sticky from the long hours of crying. Tori she her head, regretting her decision to confront the goth. Taking a few staggering steps back, when that familiar warmth whenever she came in contact with Jade. Thrusting her arm away, she ignored the reflecting pain through those azure eyes; reminding herself she was feeling much worse._

_"Tori please...Don't do this. We can get through this. You promised we'd still be friends, you said he wasn't a problem." Tori scoffed, an action to cover up the sobs refusing to escape her throat._

_"If this entire summer was real, then you wouldn't be fine with this. You wouldn't be okay with going back to him."_

_Her chest heavy as her fingers grazed the metallic door handle. She fought off the tears when there was still no objection to her retreat. For a second she thought there was a small croak of her name, shaking her head- the door swiftly opened with a click._

_"I'm not okay," Tori paused, refusing to face her._

_"I'm not okay with this. With you leaving me; me hurting you." She felt a soft hand grip her shoulder; begging her to turn around. _

_"Tell me...Tell me to stay. Stay here with you. Tell me you choose me over him."_

_There was brief moment of hesitation._

_"Kiss me."_

_That stung. Even with her mind screaming for her to stop- stop leaning into that grasp those stormy blue eyes held over her. She almost pulled away, stopped her motions when those eyes reflected the tiny bit of hope she was feeling. She didn't want to do this, accept the fact that Jade had ignored her plea. That when this would end there wouldn't be that happy ending she's always dreamt of._

_She wanted to freeze frame; to this moment. Zero in and relieve this whirlwind of emotions. It was everything she's pictured and worse. Soft and warm to the touch; being that set of liquid for the ignition her fire needed. The slap of reality when it all settled in with the adrenaline in her system- lungs burning. She managed to erase the devastating thoughts that this was more of a last than first kiss. Deepening it just in a last resort attempt of hope pouring all of her desperation into this. She tried to cling a little bit longer when she started feeling Jade pull away._

_She waited; their breathing mingling together. While Jade leaned into her, she tightened her grip on the her waist. They waited clutching the lingering silence._

_"I love you Tori," Her chest clenched, and she added just a small push to the hands gripping her jacket. She sent Jade a forced smile._

_"But you love him more right." _

_The look of devastation didn't seem to faze her. Instead of looking into the eyes she knows would simply plead for the inevitable, she made a sharp turn. She was halfway in when she paused._

_"I love you too. Just...please be happy. Promise me you won't worry about me."_

_"You know I can't do that- Tori -" The tears leaked, causing her to shake at the amount of force that boiled over._

_"Jade...Please." _

_"I promise." An odd sense of relief flooded her._

* * *

_Tori, please talk to me -__** Scott**_

_You can't keep doing this to yourself. Don't let her dictate your life. - __**Nikki**_

_Stop torturing yourself, it's harsh, but someone needs to tell you the truth. Jade is an manipulating bitch. She doesn't deserve you Tori, just please realize that before this gets out of hand. - __**Trina**_

She ignored the other numerous text. They would tell her the same thing; unintentionally mock her without second thought. Two months, they'd say - how it isn't even logical to fall for a girl; let alone one that's already taken. It'd all end the same when she had taken a moment of weakness and tried to create some type of bond, and tried talking to her own friends. Of course she instantly recognized that the encounter would be nothing to pleasant when they flashed her those current pitiful glances.

They had found another way to tell her 'I told you so' while still carrying on with their grins, and smiles. Tori didn't know what they expected when she had let them in. They wanted something she couldn't give them. They wanted her to forget something that wouldn't leave her mind. They wanted her to hate someone she could never; dispite that person being the cause of her distress. Sighing, she tossed her phone behind her; fingers hesitating to reach for the small remote.

"Will you stop with the camera? I swear you're more a creep than that old hobo that sits in front of that mini mart...Wait a minute, are you recording-"

Her lips curled into a bitter smile. She hit play once more.

* * *

_"Hey umm...I got you these...I'm not really sure what I was supposed to get. I mean you like this kinda stuff right?"_

_When she opened the door, she didn't expect a bouquet of white roses to be trusted into her hands. She took a moment, letting her mind catch up with what her eyes were transmitting. Clearing her throat, trying to keep the smile threatening to break free at bay._

_"White Roses - Ummm...Thank you Jade."_

_Completely out of her element, Jade nodded averting her eyes; crossing her arms over her chest in completely uncomfortable. Having completely forgotten why she was even angry at the socially challenged goth. She grinned, amused as to why the must have been small disagreement they had- brought the girl to bring her such gesture._

_"It's not because I want you dead or anything...I just thought you'd like some flowers. You know, not romantically or anything." _

_Raising a small eyebrow in question, Tori nodded; deflating just a bit. Noticing the small change in the girls demeanor, Jade fixed her posture- Taking the gaze head on._

_"I mean if you want a hug or something. That's okay with me." Rolling her eyes Tori brought her in for a hug; taking the goth by complete surprise._

_Though she didn't miss the content sigh Jade let out._

* * *

"You can't keep torturing yourself."

Flipping herself away from the figure leaning against her headboard, she continued to flip through the makeshift photo album. She didn't even object when the book was ripped away from her hands. She heard him sigh, before a pair of warm arms encircled her. Tensing for a moment, she stayed silent snuggling into his chest...

"I love her," She mumbled tracing tiny patterns onto his forearm.

"I know Tori...believe me, I know."

* * *

_Surfacing she breathed in a nose full of the salty chlorine. While she did enjoy the more natural scents, she didn't mind the replacement. She liked to pretend that she was in her grandfather's lake. Under the star filled sky, enjoying the calming scents that invaded her senses. She grinned when her eyes fell upon the unmindful figure sitting on the ledge. Making a few strokes towards her, she silently folded her arms next to the girl, resting her chin._

_"Hey make a wish." Jade smirked looking down to face the brunette._

_"There's no shooting star." Tori rolled her eyes._

_"Just pretend it's me, come on Jade dream a little." _

_"Let's just ignore your obvious big head,"_

_She closed her eyes, and Tori took the opportunity to openly stare. Moments later the pair seemingly oblivious to the frowning Canadian standing near the fence, watching with an almost weary expression. Jade flicked her gaze to the grinning brunette, rolling her eyes at the girls excitement._

_"What'd you wish for?" Jade smirked shrugging._

_"What's the b point of wishing, if you'll end up blabbering to everyone about it?" Tori sighed, shaking her head in objection. _

_"Hey I made it up, so come on tell me...I promise I won't tell anyone."_

_"For a better star." Narrowing her eyes Tori waited for further information._

_"You said I should make a wish, and you know when you said that I should pretend that you were the falling star? It happened like a second ago Vega. So I wished for a better star." Jade smirked, when Tori sent her a disbelieving frown._

_"You're such a Jerk." She grinned slipping her hand to pull on the pale leg swinging over the edge._

* * *

_"Next." _

_Rolling her eyes with a smile Tori toyed with the pale hand interlaced with her own. She comparing the hardly noticeable size difference. Trying to fathom how pale they were, only to decive her with their own warmth._

_"You're so difficult. Ummm...Favorite past time?" She mumbled slightly in awe of the small secenary._

_Scoffing at the grinning girl whose head was currently layer onto her lap, Jade continued to draw lazy patterns in the dirt with the small stick she had previously found. Glancing towards the sky littered with tiny specs accumulating the small bit of light there was, she craned her neck to face the brunette._

_"Spending time with this perky brunette." Tori flicked her eyes from the sky smiling when a pair of familiar eyes were already gazing down her way._

_"Why?" Jade sent her a soft smile._

_"Dispite her being a big cheeseball, she makes me smile with just one look. Because she's the complete opposite of me, and there's never a dull moment between us. And even though we shouldn't work, we do. Because even if she tried she couldn't make one single enemy. And overall she's has this freaky way of waking up looking like some Disney Princess...possibly even more gorgeous. I should hate her type, but this is where that contagious smile she has comes into play."_

_Tori smiled, gaining one from the goth._

_"She sounds nice."_

_"She's amazing..."_

* * *

She was tired. Tired of crying, feeling the pain like it was fresh. She was digging herself deeper into her own despair. Two months she had tried to relieve the past summer. Memories she knows that will be perfectly etched inside her mind without consent. What made it worse, was the pitiful last hope of desperation she had to cling to them. Everyday she'd put herself up for more pain by rewatching, and flipping through everything she could find. Anything that could remind her of a better time, before she ever felt anything for the girl she had met on the first day of summer.

Only to fall into a pit of deception when she tried to hide the fact, that even if she tried she couldn't find a single moment where it felt she and Jade had an actual friendship. How they had simply fooled themselves into thinking they could go on being friends while harboring un-platonic feelings for the other. She wanted to believe that Jade didn't feel anything for her. That in fact Jade used her as a distraction until Beck came back.

Even trying to convince herself of just that, she knew that wasn't it. They were bound to have a downfall. It just hurt to realize that their downfall was them moment they had decided to seal their own fate.

How just one handshake could look so innocent, but feel so demented.

* * *

_"Wait Scott don't lea...And little ol' me is left all alone."_

_Holding in her self mocking amusement, she turned around keeping the small penguin close in her arms; nearly choking the stuffed animal. Her grip tightening as she scanned through the booths, and mingling people, she tried to hold in her own excitement. This is what she loved about carnivals. The buzzing excitement in the air, creating the most tangible adrenaline one could feel. Hearing the shouts, and screams of glea from the highly anticipated children; parents desperately trying- but failing to let their kids excitement bring them a great deal of amusement._

_Though she had to admit she had fallen even more in love with the past time as nightfall became an evident factor in the late on goers. That was even more the reason why she begged her best friend to come between sunset and an early starry sky. That love for the carnival bringing her to a level of giddiness, that even she couldn't recognize when she had been ditched by her brown haired best friend and his 'lady' friend._

_"I think you're killing the thing."_

_Her eyes snapped to her right. She tried to remember that staring was indeed rude when merely meeting someone. Though she didn't think the proper etiquette was an issue, when there was a gorgeous raven haired beauty raising a pierced eyebrow her way._

_Pale skin illuminated by the differentiated colors; projecting the perfect light to compromise with each other. Blue eyes mixed with specs and spot of grey and green, creating the piercing shade of 'mysterious.' In her mind she had faulted for a second to long. Reality was she had been staring fondly towards the beauty for over a minute. Clearing her throat when she noticed pink lips lift into a knowing smirk._

_"Ummm...I think Mr. Bikini, is just fine. Right...go on tell..." She looked towards the girl expectantly; shocked to be met with a small smile._

_"Jade West. But are you sure? Any guy with a name like that is bound to have some arising issues, mentally and physically of course." Her lips lifted into a soft smile._

_"He'll live, unless I don't accidentally suffocate him," She raised her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet a woman of the wild wicked west. Tori Vega at your service."_

_There was a moment of hesitation, but Jade took the outstretched hand nonetheless. Neither bothering to make movement they stared for a second longer than necessary._

_"You wouldn't happen to want to join our shannaigins would you? I mean Mr. Bikini...has taken a real liking...and I'm totally blowing this right now aren't I?" Jade gave her a nod, and chuckle, before swiftly taking the stuffed animal into her own hands._

_"Luckily for you I'm socially challenged, and you're socially awkward. So I think we can do something with that. Now how about we rename the penguin, and look up some better pickup lines for you."_

_Blinking in amazement, Tori was watched the retreating figure heading towards the booth she had previously won the stuffed animal. Frowning in confusion she jogged to catch up with the long strides._

_"It wasn't pickup line!" Jade nodded her head._

_"Mmm...Yeah sure whatever you say. Vega right?" She smirked teasingly._

_"It's Tori."_

* * *

_**'Cause I'm really not fine at all...'**_

He raised a questioning eyebrow. Even she couldn't fathom just why exactly she had made an abrupt station change. Taking her hand and interlacing their fingers, Beck smiled softly; giving her a small squeeze of assurance.

"You okay?"

She sent him a forced smile holding their gaze for a second longer than intended. To prove a point to no one in particular, she leaned over to give him a quick kiss. Letting her lips linger. With that she pushed back sighing into her seat, instantly turning her head back to the endless scenery passing by in such a blur.

"Yeah. I just really hate that song."

* * *

_**I had this request sitting in my storage for far to long. Thank You 'smardiculous' For the request and hope I made the prompt. This took longer than intended, but here she is. Yep wrote this baby a while back, and needed to tweak it a bit...Hope you enjoyed, have a miniature party with the last bit of thanksgiving break. Tell me if I should make this a tiny three shot.**_

_**Write Ya Later ;)**_


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